It was brought to my attention that by age nine most boys have viewed pornography on the internet. That means that both my boys have likely looked at pornographic websites. I think pornography is a plague on society. I think it harms boys before they become men, it destroys healthy sexual relationships and it destroys the lives of both men and women involved in the industry. It is an addiction that causes great harm.
So the first thing I did when I read that statistic is lock down their internet usage. I want them to have happy, healthy sex lives when the time is right for them with a partner who they know and trust. Ideally I think this should be in a married relationship. That's the ideal. I'm a realist but I also think you have to set the standard somewhere.
So far I haven't let either of my kids go on Facebook. I'm a bit of a hypocrite on this one because I am on FB almost daily. However today I decided I was doing the right thing. More than one of my "friends" posted a link to an exercise video/website/challenge with a picture of a woman that did not look fit to me. She looked like a porn star. These everyday moms and housewives were encouraging and challenging each other to a fitness program that held up a "porn star" look as the ideal. Now I don't actually look at porn so I am hardly the one to decide she looks like a porn star. If you look at porn then perhaps you will disagree and tell me that porn stars look nothing like that but in my mind the fake boobs ballooning out of her "fitness top" and the overly accentuated crotch in the tiny "boy shorts" with the excessively skinny thighs did not look real. Nor did the dark tanned and oiled skin and the pouty, am I sexy lips. I am not inspired. I am disgusted. What about the poor teenaged boys who will click on that link and watch that work-out video. If my son was on FB he probably would click on it too. I'm glad he isn't. But he will be in the future I'm sure. Protecting our kids from porn is not possible. We have to talk about it. But now I realize that we have to talk to our friends and our colleagues and our kids. We all have to say no to this. What if your son became addicted to porn? What would you say to his wife in the future when she tells you that they don't have a healthy sex life because his brain has been re-wired to only be turned on by the sexual images he grew up with on the internet. What then? I think it was John Mayer (who was dating Jennifer Aniston for a while) who would rather watch porn than be with a woman. His brain has been re-wired to find satisfaction in something that isn't even real. Do we want this for our young men? I don't. I want my sons to grow up and have a real relationship with a real woman who loves him unconditionally and who he loves and treats as the most precious gift in his life. Even if she doesn't look like a porn star. Which, let's face it, she likely won't. Because not many of us do. Nor should we want to.
I want to be fit and healthy. I want to be able to go for a hike in God's great outdoors and enjoy my family. I want to put on a bathing suit and swim with my kids in the lake in the summer because it's fun. I also want to be able to deadlift over 215 lbs and keep my gym wall ball record (100 wall balls in 7:12 since you asked). And I want to look good doing it.. But looking good to me is looking real. Having the skin, hair and boobs that God gave me. With wrinkles and stretchmarks and scars and blemishes. And I want my husband to look at me like I'm sexy and healthy and beautiful. So let's stop looking at porn stars for inspiration and start looking at the real women around us who live real lives, squeeze in their exercise on their lunch breaks or while their kids are at dance, rely on a bar of soap to take off their make up and hope for a decent night sleep at least once a week. That's the real 1000 rep challenge.
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