I slept soundly thought the first night thanks to an Oxazapam. I woke up at 4 am so I took all the drops as required. My left eye was a bit tender and I may have bumped it.
My drop schedule is 1 drop 4 times a day of each of these:
Vigamox antibiotic
Acuvail anti-inflammatory
Predas corticosteroid
Bion tears - as much as is needed (refrigerate for cool, soothing relief)
My left eye is really starting to hurt. I'll tell them at the clinic.
I showered with my Ray Charles glasses on to protect my eyes from splashing, then headed off to the clinic. 1 hour drive, 15 min check, 1 hour drive home.
They checked my eyes and said it all looks good. I told them about my left eye hurting and that I might have bumped it and they put in a numbing drop. I had been avoiding the numbing drops because when Scott had his eye surgery he was using them up and getting refills and they said it was slowing his healing. They said it's ok to use them a bit, just not too much. They also gave me 4 Ativan to help me sleep. They said I shouldn't go to work for another week and filled out my doctors form for work. We will see about that. A week is a long time!
Returned home for another day in the dark. Feel pretty good today though. Took regular Tylenol only. And lots of Bion tears. I'll check in tomorrow.
Friday, August 8, 2014
PRK Eye surgery - Day 1
Yesterday, On August 7 I finally got laser eye surgery. While I booked and cancelled this surgery 3 or 4 times since last May, I finally just decided that I'm worth it! And I'm brave! So I did it! My husband did it over a year ago and his recovery was long and agonizing. It made me hesitant. Not because I couldn't handle the pain, I can. But because I always feel bad taking time off work.
So here I am on this sunny Friday in August. Sitting in a dark room, wearing sunglasses, with my room darkening blinds closed and my iPad backlight set to the dimmest setting. I found that reading other peoples experiences were helpful to read so here I go.
August 6 - last day of work before the surgery.
I went to work as usual, dressing up and putting my makeup on as usual. I printed off the relevant sick days forms which are required by my HR department, sent an email reminding my boss that I'd be away for the next 2 days and I'd likely see her Monday. Upon my arrival home, my husband greeted me with a kiss and asked me if I am nervous. I said yes, a bit. So he made me a vodka and soda with cranberry juice, fresh mint leaves and a lemon wedge. Yum!
I decided to sit down with the little info booklet the doctor's office had mailed me. As I read I came across these two tidbits:
1. No eye make up 48 hours before surgery. Oops! I jumped up and carefully removed all my eye make up, rinsing my eyes well. I don't wear that much make up so hopefully that's ok.
2. No alcoholic beverages 24 hours prior to surgery. Oops again! I quickly finished it and turned the page. One drink. Pretty weak. No biggie. I'll drink extra water to rehydrate.
August 7 - day of surgery
My surgery was set for 12:15. 11:15 arrival time. So I had lots of time to get there. I got up at 5:30 am as usual, went to my CrossFit box, had my last workout for a while, wearing glasses because I haven't been allowed to wear contacts for the last 2 weeks. The glasses have been a total pain, sliding down my nose and bouncing around. So glad I'm getting surgery. I was running with a medicine ball held up on my shoulder at one point and it kept bumping the arm of my glasses behind my ear, causing them to fly off. Seriously! Can't. Wait. To. Not. Wear. Glasses.
10:00 am off to the doctors office. It's a 1 hour drive from Langley to Vancouver. Scott was driving me and our 12 year old son was begrudgingly coming along. We didn't want to leave home home alone but the little book said not to bring children to the clinic. I'm hoping they meant little children because I think it's interesting to watch this surgery on the screen in the waiting room. A little science class!
11:15 - we arrive, park, check in. They realize that my initial appointment was over a year ago so they want to redo all the tests. So I spend the next 2 hours reading charts, looking at bright lights, testing dominant eye and answering questions about my lupus symptoms and sufferings. The boys got hungry and went and found a snack at the Urban Fare grocery store downstairs. Chicken fingers and fries. Yum! It smelled so good I had to sneak a few bites. Best fries ever! Finally they take me in for my surgery. Scott had warned me to dress warmly because he felt cold during the surgery. I wore yoga pants, a t-shirt and a light sweatshirt,socks and runners. I was very comfortable. All morning I had been thirsty so I drank a ton of water resulting in countless trips to the toilet right up to minutes before the procedure. At least it gave me a chance to wash my greasy fingers. Scott and Silas were right with me, but when I was led to the table they went into the room next door and watched on a video screen.
I lay on the table with my head in a hollowed out pillow form and my knees bent over a support. The assistant put some drops in my eyes, covered my left eye with gauze and the surgeon put a holder in my right eye. It held my lids open. It pinched a little. He then put a metal ring on my eyeball which I couldn't feel at all. The rest went quickly but he swabbed and dabbed, then told me to watch a red light/dot, then I smelled burning flesh and saw fuzzy red lights, I tried to stare at the red dot but it was really hard. He kept reminding me. My whole body was tense and I felt like I was going to grind my teeth hard and I wanted to clench my fists, so I kept my mouth open and my hands held flat. Then he dropped something freezing into my eye and said the first eye was done. I forced myself to breathe and relax. I was totally rigid from head to toe! I let go and relaxed. He started on the second eye. I just kept telling myself, "relax, relax, relax, but don't move!"
Then it was over. They took me into the room with my husband and son, gave me some drops and said to rest for 20 minutes. So I did. I tried not to peek but the temptation was too great. I opened one eye slowly. I could see! Without glasses! It was hazy but not blurry. Another quick check
and I was sent home with a pouch of drops and a pile of directions.
The drive home was very uncomfortable. I took a Tylenol/Advil combo as soon as we got in the car. It was hot and my A/C doesn't work so we had to have the windows down. The wind and the sun was excruciating. I wore the big, dark, Ray Charles glasses they gave me and tried to block the sun with my hands. I fell asleep for about half the ride. The pain was getting worse. I just wanted to get home. Of course my husband had to stop to renew his car insurance as it was expiring today so that took extra time. I was grouchy and irritable by the time we got home. And thirsty!!
Once I got home I took 2 T3s, leftover from my son's dental surgery last year, drank a ton of water and went to bed in a dark room, with my sunglasses on. I basically slept the rest of the day and night. When I woke up at 4am I put in the Bion Tears drops which I had refrigerated, and followed the other drops schedule as directed. I hadn't taken any pain drops yet. My pain level was quite low as long as I sat quietly in a dark room with my eyes shut. I tried to listen to an audio book but I kept dozing off. My eyes felt hazy, dry, a bit fuzzy and I had a small amount of pain. Drops, drops, drops!
So here I am on this sunny Friday in August. Sitting in a dark room, wearing sunglasses, with my room darkening blinds closed and my iPad backlight set to the dimmest setting. I found that reading other peoples experiences were helpful to read so here I go.
August 6 - last day of work before the surgery.
I went to work as usual, dressing up and putting my makeup on as usual. I printed off the relevant sick days forms which are required by my HR department, sent an email reminding my boss that I'd be away for the next 2 days and I'd likely see her Monday. Upon my arrival home, my husband greeted me with a kiss and asked me if I am nervous. I said yes, a bit. So he made me a vodka and soda with cranberry juice, fresh mint leaves and a lemon wedge. Yum!
I decided to sit down with the little info booklet the doctor's office had mailed me. As I read I came across these two tidbits:
1. No eye make up 48 hours before surgery. Oops! I jumped up and carefully removed all my eye make up, rinsing my eyes well. I don't wear that much make up so hopefully that's ok.
2. No alcoholic beverages 24 hours prior to surgery. Oops again! I quickly finished it and turned the page. One drink. Pretty weak. No biggie. I'll drink extra water to rehydrate.
August 7 - day of surgery
My surgery was set for 12:15. 11:15 arrival time. So I had lots of time to get there. I got up at 5:30 am as usual, went to my CrossFit box, had my last workout for a while, wearing glasses because I haven't been allowed to wear contacts for the last 2 weeks. The glasses have been a total pain, sliding down my nose and bouncing around. So glad I'm getting surgery. I was running with a medicine ball held up on my shoulder at one point and it kept bumping the arm of my glasses behind my ear, causing them to fly off. Seriously! Can't. Wait. To. Not. Wear. Glasses.
10:00 am off to the doctors office. It's a 1 hour drive from Langley to Vancouver. Scott was driving me and our 12 year old son was begrudgingly coming along. We didn't want to leave home home alone but the little book said not to bring children to the clinic. I'm hoping they meant little children because I think it's interesting to watch this surgery on the screen in the waiting room. A little science class!
11:15 - we arrive, park, check in. They realize that my initial appointment was over a year ago so they want to redo all the tests. So I spend the next 2 hours reading charts, looking at bright lights, testing dominant eye and answering questions about my lupus symptoms and sufferings. The boys got hungry and went and found a snack at the Urban Fare grocery store downstairs. Chicken fingers and fries. Yum! It smelled so good I had to sneak a few bites. Best fries ever! Finally they take me in for my surgery. Scott had warned me to dress warmly because he felt cold during the surgery. I wore yoga pants, a t-shirt and a light sweatshirt,socks and runners. I was very comfortable. All morning I had been thirsty so I drank a ton of water resulting in countless trips to the toilet right up to minutes before the procedure. At least it gave me a chance to wash my greasy fingers. Scott and Silas were right with me, but when I was led to the table they went into the room next door and watched on a video screen.
I lay on the table with my head in a hollowed out pillow form and my knees bent over a support. The assistant put some drops in my eyes, covered my left eye with gauze and the surgeon put a holder in my right eye. It held my lids open. It pinched a little. He then put a metal ring on my eyeball which I couldn't feel at all. The rest went quickly but he swabbed and dabbed, then told me to watch a red light/dot, then I smelled burning flesh and saw fuzzy red lights, I tried to stare at the red dot but it was really hard. He kept reminding me. My whole body was tense and I felt like I was going to grind my teeth hard and I wanted to clench my fists, so I kept my mouth open and my hands held flat. Then he dropped something freezing into my eye and said the first eye was done. I forced myself to breathe and relax. I was totally rigid from head to toe! I let go and relaxed. He started on the second eye. I just kept telling myself, "relax, relax, relax, but don't move!"
Then it was over. They took me into the room with my husband and son, gave me some drops and said to rest for 20 minutes. So I did. I tried not to peek but the temptation was too great. I opened one eye slowly. I could see! Without glasses! It was hazy but not blurry. Another quick check
and I was sent home with a pouch of drops and a pile of directions.
The drive home was very uncomfortable. I took a Tylenol/Advil combo as soon as we got in the car. It was hot and my A/C doesn't work so we had to have the windows down. The wind and the sun was excruciating. I wore the big, dark, Ray Charles glasses they gave me and tried to block the sun with my hands. I fell asleep for about half the ride. The pain was getting worse. I just wanted to get home. Of course my husband had to stop to renew his car insurance as it was expiring today so that took extra time. I was grouchy and irritable by the time we got home. And thirsty!!
Once I got home I took 2 T3s, leftover from my son's dental surgery last year, drank a ton of water and went to bed in a dark room, with my sunglasses on. I basically slept the rest of the day and night. When I woke up at 4am I put in the Bion Tears drops which I had refrigerated, and followed the other drops schedule as directed. I hadn't taken any pain drops yet. My pain level was quite low as long as I sat quietly in a dark room with my eyes shut. I tried to listen to an audio book but I kept dozing off. My eyes felt hazy, dry, a bit fuzzy and I had a small amount of pain. Drops, drops, drops!
Monday, January 20, 2014
A new start
I think my blog is appropriately titled. Easily Entangled. Life entangles me so easily. The years go by so quickly, just the days are long. For seven years I have been trying to write a blog and for seven years it has been hit and miss as I get tangled up in the demands of life. Seven years ago I thought this was a good idea, and here I am, a new year, trying again. I like the New Year. I like resolutions. I like fresh starts. I also like things to be neat and precise and accurate. So a New Year's resolution should start on New Year's day, right? Well I think my New Year's Resolution should be to not be so worried about precision and go for the general idea, rather than the perfection of a goal.
With that in mind, I'm still choosing my new year's resolution. Some ideas I have brewing but have not perfected:
1. Read my bible (that's a no brainer, I should do this). So I feel like I already failed on the Every Day goal for 2014 (it's January 3rd after all) but as I think back on the last 3 days I have read something from the bible every day. I haven't sat down and formally "Read My Bible" but I read my Sunday School lesson, I read some stuff on Facebook and I read a couple of blogs, all containing biblical content. So did I read my bible? Well no. Did I read THE bible? Why yes I did! Check! (see how I like things perfect but I'm trying to just go for the general idea here).
2. Write - this scares me. I don't like my voice.
3. Blog (is that the same as write?)
4. Be real, talk about, think about, focus on things that matter.
5. Eat healthier/lose weight - that is so boring and doesn't EVERYONE feel this way. I think a better resolution will be to find satisfaction in the healthy life I strive to live. Can that be a resolution? At the end of 2014 can I look back and say I didn't stress about my weight for the entire year!? That would be cool with me.
6. Find my calling - ooh that's a big one. I want to work at what I love, not work to make money except you better skip ahead to number 8. These may not work together.
7. Figure out what my favourite food is. My kids asked me recently what my FAVOURITE food is. I couldn't answer. So I asked my husband and he responded helpful with, "Carrots??" No! I don't love carrots! I eat them a lot but that is not my favourite "oh-am-I-glad-God-created this" food. I don't like that I am a person who isn't really sure what my favourite food is. I want to spend 2014 exploring this. I think this falls under the umbrella of "find my calling" because it's part of exploring who I really am and what God wants from me. Somewhat like finding my voice. So 2, 6, 7 all belong together I guess. Might as well group 3 in there too since 2 and 3 are the same.
8. Save money/pay off debt (blah blah blah, this feels stressful and overwhelming and I want a new car and I want a vacation and I want......, ok, this one needs some work). As I see it here I have 2 choices: 1. Learn that slow and steady wins the race and work at this OR 2. Win the lottery. So really, I guess I choose #1 since #2 is out of my control.
With that in mind, I'm still choosing my new year's resolution. Some ideas I have brewing but have not perfected:
1. Read my bible (that's a no brainer, I should do this). So I feel like I already failed on the Every Day goal for 2014 (it's January 3rd after all) but as I think back on the last 3 days I have read something from the bible every day. I haven't sat down and formally "Read My Bible" but I read my Sunday School lesson, I read some stuff on Facebook and I read a couple of blogs, all containing biblical content. So did I read my bible? Well no. Did I read THE bible? Why yes I did! Check! (see how I like things perfect but I'm trying to just go for the general idea here).
2. Write - this scares me. I don't like my voice.
3. Blog (is that the same as write?)
4. Be real, talk about, think about, focus on things that matter.
5. Eat healthier/lose weight - that is so boring and doesn't EVERYONE feel this way. I think a better resolution will be to find satisfaction in the healthy life I strive to live. Can that be a resolution? At the end of 2014 can I look back and say I didn't stress about my weight for the entire year!? That would be cool with me.
6. Find my calling - ooh that's a big one. I want to work at what I love, not work to make money except you better skip ahead to number 8. These may not work together.
7. Figure out what my favourite food is. My kids asked me recently what my FAVOURITE food is. I couldn't answer. So I asked my husband and he responded helpful with, "Carrots??" No! I don't love carrots! I eat them a lot but that is not my favourite "oh-am-I-glad-God-created this" food. I don't like that I am a person who isn't really sure what my favourite food is. I want to spend 2014 exploring this. I think this falls under the umbrella of "find my calling" because it's part of exploring who I really am and what God wants from me. Somewhat like finding my voice. So 2, 6, 7 all belong together I guess. Might as well group 3 in there too since 2 and 3 are the same.
8. Save money/pay off debt (blah blah blah, this feels stressful and overwhelming and I want a new car and I want a vacation and I want......, ok, this one needs some work). As I see it here I have 2 choices: 1. Learn that slow and steady wins the race and work at this OR 2. Win the lottery. So really, I guess I choose #1 since #2 is out of my control.
Monday, June 24, 2013
Starting Strength
I'm starting a new strength program on Saturday and our trainer Tyler is encouraging us to keep a journal. I always write my workouts down but I don't put a lot more than number of reps and time. So I thought I would re-enter my abandoned blog to start recording more about my workouts.
I'm do CrossFit. I love CrossFit. I started in April 2007 when a friend of my husbands discovered this CrossFit thing and I was curious. So I went and worked out with him at the High School gym and that was it. Within a few workouts I was totally hooked. He (my husband's friend who has now become my friend) has since started his own box and I am his original client. I think I am the only one who is still around from those first days.
Generally speaking I am strong. I can do most workouts at RX (prescribed weight) and have a decent time. But I'm wanting to get better and maybe even compete in the CrossFit games next year (in the masters division).
This will be my journey.
WOD - June 24, 2013
Today was a technique day. After doing our standard gym warm up we worked on snatch and clean and jerk.
Standard Gym Warm-up
Row 500m or Run 400m or Skip 200 Double Unders
20 GHD Sit Ups or 20 Hollow Rocks
20 Back Extensions or 20 Supermans
20 Air Squats
20 Push Ups
10 Good Mornings
10 PVC Pass Throughs
10 Neck Rotations
10 Arm Swings (each side)
10 Leg Swings (side to side/front to back)
10 Foot/Hand Rotations
10 Spiderman Lunges
10 Tuck Jumps
Personal Thing 1 (Pull Up Negatives)
Personal Thing 2 (Roll Out on Foam)
Snatch (with squat) + 2 Overhead Squats - 65#
pause 2 seconds at the knee, stay upright, pull bar up close to body, keep pull smooth
Clean and Jerk - 115#
pause 2 seconds at the knee, pull bar back to body, keep weight on the heels, if splitting, work on shuffling front foot back then back foot forward on the finish
I think I'm finally getting the hang of the snatch. It has been a move that has eluded me for years. Finally understanding the pull and get under the bar. Tyler is an excellent coach. He's encouraging me to keep the weight light until I really perfect this move. The OH squat is the limit of my weight as it's difficult to get full depth of squat with the heavier weights. This is definitely a weak area I hope to see improvement in over the next year of training.
Saturday we are starting the real "Starting Strength" program so for the rest of the week I will only record my regular CrossFit WOD. Hope to squeeze in a walk tonight.
Bible verses I am pondering today:
Mark 4:21-25
He said to them, “Do you bring in a lamp to put it under a bowl or a bed? Instead, don’t you put it on its stand? 22For whatever is hidden is meant to be disclosed, and whatever is concealed is meant to be brought out into the open. 23If anyone has ears to hear, let them hear.”
I'm do CrossFit. I love CrossFit. I started in April 2007 when a friend of my husbands discovered this CrossFit thing and I was curious. So I went and worked out with him at the High School gym and that was it. Within a few workouts I was totally hooked. He (my husband's friend who has now become my friend) has since started his own box and I am his original client. I think I am the only one who is still around from those first days.
Generally speaking I am strong. I can do most workouts at RX (prescribed weight) and have a decent time. But I'm wanting to get better and maybe even compete in the CrossFit games next year (in the masters division).
This will be my journey.
WOD - June 24, 2013
Today was a technique day. After doing our standard gym warm up we worked on snatch and clean and jerk.
Standard Gym Warm-up
Row 500m or Run 400m or Skip 200 Double Unders
20 GHD Sit Ups or 20 Hollow Rocks
20 Back Extensions or 20 Supermans
20 Air Squats
20 Push Ups
10 Good Mornings
10 PVC Pass Throughs
10 Neck Rotations
10 Arm Swings (each side)
10 Leg Swings (side to side/front to back)
10 Foot/Hand Rotations
10 Spiderman Lunges
10 Tuck Jumps
Personal Thing 1 (Pull Up Negatives)
Personal Thing 2 (Roll Out on Foam)
Snatch (with squat) + 2 Overhead Squats - 65#
pause 2 seconds at the knee, stay upright, pull bar up close to body, keep pull smooth
Clean and Jerk - 115#
pause 2 seconds at the knee, pull bar back to body, keep weight on the heels, if splitting, work on shuffling front foot back then back foot forward on the finish
I think I'm finally getting the hang of the snatch. It has been a move that has eluded me for years. Finally understanding the pull and get under the bar. Tyler is an excellent coach. He's encouraging me to keep the weight light until I really perfect this move. The OH squat is the limit of my weight as it's difficult to get full depth of squat with the heavier weights. This is definitely a weak area I hope to see improvement in over the next year of training.
Saturday we are starting the real "Starting Strength" program so for the rest of the week I will only record my regular CrossFit WOD. Hope to squeeze in a walk tonight.
Bible verses I am pondering today:
Mark 4:21-25
He said to them, “Do you bring in a lamp to put it under a bowl or a bed? Instead, don’t you put it on its stand? 22For whatever is hidden is meant to be disclosed, and whatever is concealed is meant to be brought out into the open. 23If anyone has ears to hear, let them hear.”
24“Consider carefully what you hear,” he continued. “With the measure you use, it will be measured to you—and even more. 25Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them.”
I think God is telling me to recognize that all things will eventually be revealed. It's not wise to try to hide the truth. Put it on a stand to bring it out in the open. Deal openly and transparently with people to show them respect. This respect will then be returned as people will deal openly and transparently with you. You can trust others as much as you can be trusted. Rather than concern myself with who I can or cannot trust in life, I should concern myself with how trustworthy I am. Am I honest 100% of the time, while keeping in mind social norms and kindness (opinions don't always need to be shared and don't hinder my honesty)? God help me with this today! Help me to be kind and trustworthy.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
In which I think about parenting and exercise...
I've been really struck recently by my role as a mother to teenage boys. I have one teenager and one tween. I'm trying to raise them to be healthy boys who will one day be productive adults. God willing they will marry one of your daughters and make a life together. I hope that life is as full of joy (and challenges) as my life has been. I hope they are good, kind, and helpful husbands who are both strong and gentle. I hope they provide for their families and love the work that they do.
It was brought to my attention that by age nine most boys have viewed pornography on the internet. That means that both my boys have likely looked at pornographic websites. I think pornography is a plague on society. I think it harms boys before they become men, it destroys healthy sexual relationships and it destroys the lives of both men and women involved in the industry. It is an addiction that causes great harm.
So the first thing I did when I read that statistic is lock down their internet usage. I want them to have happy, healthy sex lives when the time is right for them with a partner who they know and trust. Ideally I think this should be in a married relationship. That's the ideal. I'm a realist but I also think you have to set the standard somewhere.
So far I haven't let either of my kids go on Facebook. I'm a bit of a hypocrite on this one because I am on FB almost daily. However today I decided I was doing the right thing. More than one of my "friends" posted a link to an exercise video/website/challenge with a picture of a woman that did not look fit to me. She looked like a porn star. These everyday moms and housewives were encouraging and challenging each other to a fitness program that held up a "porn star" look as the ideal. Now I don't actually look at porn so I am hardly the one to decide she looks like a porn star. If you look at porn then perhaps you will disagree and tell me that porn stars look nothing like that but in my mind the fake boobs ballooning out of her "fitness top" and the overly accentuated crotch in the tiny "boy shorts" with the excessively skinny thighs did not look real. Nor did the dark tanned and oiled skin and the pouty, am I sexy lips. I am not inspired. I am disgusted. What about the poor teenaged boys who will click on that link and watch that work-out video. If my son was on FB he probably would click on it too. I'm glad he isn't. But he will be in the future I'm sure. Protecting our kids from porn is not possible. We have to talk about it. But now I realize that we have to talk to our friends and our colleagues and our kids. We all have to say no to this. What if your son became addicted to porn? What would you say to his wife in the future when she tells you that they don't have a healthy sex life because his brain has been re-wired to only be turned on by the sexual images he grew up with on the internet. What then? I think it was John Mayer (who was dating Jennifer Aniston for a while) who would rather watch porn than be with a woman. His brain has been re-wired to find satisfaction in something that isn't even real. Do we want this for our young men? I don't. I want my sons to grow up and have a real relationship with a real woman who loves him unconditionally and who he loves and treats as the most precious gift in his life. Even if she doesn't look like a porn star. Which, let's face it, she likely won't. Because not many of us do. Nor should we want to.
I want to be fit and healthy. I want to be able to go for a hike in God's great outdoors and enjoy my family. I want to put on a bathing suit and swim with my kids in the lake in the summer because it's fun. I also want to be able to deadlift over 215 lbs and keep my gym wall ball record (100 wall balls in 7:12 since you asked). And I want to look good doing it.. But looking good to me is looking real. Having the skin, hair and boobs that God gave me. With wrinkles and stretchmarks and scars and blemishes. And I want my husband to look at me like I'm sexy and healthy and beautiful. So let's stop looking at porn stars for inspiration and start looking at the real women around us who live real lives, squeeze in their exercise on their lunch breaks or while their kids are at dance, rely on a bar of soap to take off their make up and hope for a decent night sleep at least once a week. That's the real 1000 rep challenge.
<>
It was brought to my attention that by age nine most boys have viewed pornography on the internet. That means that both my boys have likely looked at pornographic websites. I think pornography is a plague on society. I think it harms boys before they become men, it destroys healthy sexual relationships and it destroys the lives of both men and women involved in the industry. It is an addiction that causes great harm.
So the first thing I did when I read that statistic is lock down their internet usage. I want them to have happy, healthy sex lives when the time is right for them with a partner who they know and trust. Ideally I think this should be in a married relationship. That's the ideal. I'm a realist but I also think you have to set the standard somewhere.
So far I haven't let either of my kids go on Facebook. I'm a bit of a hypocrite on this one because I am on FB almost daily. However today I decided I was doing the right thing. More than one of my "friends" posted a link to an exercise video/website/challenge with a picture of a woman that did not look fit to me. She looked like a porn star. These everyday moms and housewives were encouraging and challenging each other to a fitness program that held up a "porn star" look as the ideal. Now I don't actually look at porn so I am hardly the one to decide she looks like a porn star. If you look at porn then perhaps you will disagree and tell me that porn stars look nothing like that but in my mind the fake boobs ballooning out of her "fitness top" and the overly accentuated crotch in the tiny "boy shorts" with the excessively skinny thighs did not look real. Nor did the dark tanned and oiled skin and the pouty, am I sexy lips. I am not inspired. I am disgusted. What about the poor teenaged boys who will click on that link and watch that work-out video. If my son was on FB he probably would click on it too. I'm glad he isn't. But he will be in the future I'm sure. Protecting our kids from porn is not possible. We have to talk about it. But now I realize that we have to talk to our friends and our colleagues and our kids. We all have to say no to this. What if your son became addicted to porn? What would you say to his wife in the future when she tells you that they don't have a healthy sex life because his brain has been re-wired to only be turned on by the sexual images he grew up with on the internet. What then? I think it was John Mayer (who was dating Jennifer Aniston for a while) who would rather watch porn than be with a woman. His brain has been re-wired to find satisfaction in something that isn't even real. Do we want this for our young men? I don't. I want my sons to grow up and have a real relationship with a real woman who loves him unconditionally and who he loves and treats as the most precious gift in his life. Even if she doesn't look like a porn star. Which, let's face it, she likely won't. Because not many of us do. Nor should we want to.
I want to be fit and healthy. I want to be able to go for a hike in God's great outdoors and enjoy my family. I want to put on a bathing suit and swim with my kids in the lake in the summer because it's fun. I also want to be able to deadlift over 215 lbs and keep my gym wall ball record (100 wall balls in 7:12 since you asked). And I want to look good doing it.. But looking good to me is looking real. Having the skin, hair and boobs that God gave me. With wrinkles and stretchmarks and scars and blemishes. And I want my husband to look at me like I'm sexy and healthy and beautiful. So let's stop looking at porn stars for inspiration and start looking at the real women around us who live real lives, squeeze in their exercise on their lunch breaks or while their kids are at dance, rely on a bar of soap to take off their make up and hope for a decent night sleep at least once a week. That's the real 1000 rep challenge.
<
Thursday, October 14, 2010
A gift for a friend
So my good friend's birthday is coming up and I've been madly trying to make her something by hand. Time is precious these days but knitting is my down time so I don't mind doing something. I hate the pressure though and I often worry if people will love a creation as much as I do!
Here's my options so far.
A scarf perhaps (Silk Ribbon Yarn by Mango Moon):
2. Or this cowl I made last year with silk roses in the yarn (mixed with Malabrigo).
Or maybe some socks made out of Blue Moon Fiber Arts Socks That Rock:
Or maybe something out of this lovely cashmere/silk yarn from Tanglewood Fiber:
I just can't decide what she would like best. This is what I know about her:1. She's beautiful inside and out.
2. She can knit but doesn't so she can appreciate hand knit gifts.
3. She likes things soft and casual...not buttoned up.
4. She loves her birthday so much she's instituted "Birthday Month" therefore a wonderful gift is very meaningful.
What do you think?
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Sunflowers
Sunflowers.Love them.
Love the colour.
Love that they grow without fuss.
Love that you can look up at them instead of down at the weeds.
Love the autumn when they grow and flourish.
Love them.
Sunflowers.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)